The 7 Phases of my Adjustment to Australia
It has been two months since we have migrated to Australia and I still could not discern what I feel. I am still adjusting to this new life we have, and I must say that I am fairly adapting to change. There are happy, winning moments but there are times that I just want to go back home to the Philippines, to the comforts of my ate, nanay and tatay.
However, things change and we adapt to it. Paolo and I made this decision to move for the better -- a better life for us and a more promising future for Leon. Also, who would not grab a once in a lifetime opportunity of being offered a job in Australia? Probably you, but not us.
Anyways, before I continue and endlessly fire my thoughts away, let me share with you the 5 PHASES OF TRANSITION I experienced (and still experiencing) as I shift from being-a-career woman-to--housewife-in-another-country.
1. The Excited Phase
Okay, so it's confirmed. We're going to Australia! Wait, what? Yes, we are!
Those thoughts were spiraling into our heads the moment we heard the news. Paolo and I were just so happy and excited that celebrations were happening left and right. Our happiness was radiating that we can't help but to share it with our families and friends. Though there was a tinge of sadness that both of us felt for leaving our families behind, the feeling of optimism and excitement were dominating in our hearts. We were just too excited to begin the life we have prayed and hoped for
The morning we woke up from our very first night in Australia, Paolo and I were both stunned. "Is this really happening?" It was the endless thought that kept on crossing our minds. For the first two weeks, while we were living in our friend's house, we, (or I) felt like we were on a long vacation. Things were all new - the weather, the ambiance. the surroundings, everything looked and feel new. We were tasting the sweetness of experiencing our dream coming true. It didn't feel real that time but it was happening.
3. The wait, how do I do this? phase
Then it finally sank in. We are not on a vacation, this is real life. We are on our own now - no more mommys, nanays, yayas to help us out on doing the chores. My husband has to work (harder) and I, well I have a new job now. I have to be the homemaker. With no experience or whatsoever, I had to learn my duties and responsibilities - that is to take care of my toddler, cook food for the family, laundry and iron the clothes, clean and maintain the house.
And I never thought that being a stay at home mom would be this difficult.
4. The Learning Curve
I realized I should have listened more to my grandmother when I was growing up. I should have spent more time with her in the kitchen or while doing the laundry so learning and doing chores here would probably be a lot easier. However, despite my lack of experience in being domesticated, I had to quickly teach myself and learn. I searched recipes online, started to cook Filipino recipes I'm familiar with; I maximized the washing machine while I struggle to clean the bathroom. I held the iron and ironed out my husband's polo shirts - not minding if there were still little wrinkles left. Vacuumed the house, wiped the glass and basically clean whatever's inside the house while spending ample amount of my time with my son. I don't know how I did it but probably it was my maternal, domesticated instinct that taught me.
5. I Miss Home Phase
Then I am feeling it. The exhaustion from doing tons of household chores, the frustration of not being able to control your toddler, and that little feeling of worthlessness for not being able to contribute (monetarily) at home. I suddenly miss my mom, my nanay, my mother-in-law, Ate Juvy and all those people who have been helping me back home. I realized how easy our lives were in the Philippines cause we had so much help. Now it's a different story. And it makes me miss home -this is the phase that will never leave my transition. Ever.
I find myself crying to release my frustrations. There are times that Leon would throw tantrums that I cannot handle. I had to be tough and composed to discipline my son, which pains me even more. During those times, especially I miss home.
6. I'm Bored. I Need To Do Something More Stage
I am probably on this stage now, the stage where I want to do something more. I am finally learning to cook multiple dishes a day, managing my time, and Leon's schedule each day, doing chores faster than I used to. As I master these things came the wanting to do something more - something that can contribute monetarily to the household. It was hard for me to accept that I do not earn any more. Hence, I am looking for options to contribute, even while I stay in the house.
7. The I Can Do This (Repeat 10x) Phase
I can do this. I still have a lot of emotions to process each day but there's one phrase I keep on telling myself I can do this. I still have a lot to learn, to discover, to unlearn and I pray to God that He will guide me in each step that I do. The transition from a sales girl to a domesticated wife is really tough but it is a transition I'm willing to undergo for the sake of the family,
Til my next post!
xx, The Mommy Roves